Ok, so, I am a very driven person.
I want to do things I love.
Graphic design. Art. Writing. Baking.
But my struggle is I want to do them beyond the home.
I recently have been struggling extra hard in this area. I see all these women, most without kids (so that should be a big DUH right there), doing amazing things they love to do. And making it their careers, or living.
I chose to be a mom, an at-home mom that is, at a young age. So doing things I want were givin up to God; I nailed them to the cross. But I am still a human and struggle with it.
One afternoon, I was having an especially hard time and during my quiet time, I stopped everything and asked , well kinda yelled at God ,"What can I do? I want to do things, what?"
Just be a mom.... Those are the very next words that came to my mind after asking that question.
Just be a mom.
It was kinda like that activity in school where the teacher asks you, "what is the first word that comes to mind when you hear this..." I heard that sentence almost immediately.
So over the last couple of weeks, I have spent a lot of time in prayer asking for help in being content. I love being a mom, but I need help to love being JUST a mom.
I know God will give me opportunities to do what I love, but it will never be more than that... Opportunities. And I'm beginning to be ok with that. My kids need me, not me and added stresses. Not me in a minute. Not me after I finish this. They need just me.
And I'm not going to give them any less.
Thank you, lord, for revealing this to me!
Matthew 6:21 WHEREVER YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART WILL ALSO BE.